


Closing Time

by LadyStardust



Series: Apartment-verse [16]
Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Beltane, Drunken Flirting, F/M, drunken nonsense, lying on the grass drinking champagne like f'n teenagers, the ride home where you gossip about everyone at the party with your partner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 19:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18676162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyStardust/pseuds/LadyStardust
Summary: In which the walk home is better than the party.  Featuring falling down, drinking champagne, and talk about people who look like carrots.





	Closing Time

**Author's Note:**

> I know who I want to take me home  
> Take me home  
> \- Closing Time by Semisonic

“Listen, _listen_ , I’m just saying that if Snape wanted to be seen as a sympathetic character maybe he shouldn’t have been the thing - the thing you know. Ugh, the thing…the thing Neville feared most? You know? boggart! THE BOGGART JARETH,” she shouted into the night air.  "What kind of kid whose parents have been tortured to insanity says 'oh yeah my teacher that's who I'm piss shit terrified of' - a guy with an abusive teacher that's who!"

“Well perhaps he was the boggart because Neville could have been Harry but instead no no let’s kill the woman he loves instead! Maybe authors should stop killing mothers,” he argued back, stumbling slightly over the slippery grass under his boots.

“Half a point,” she said wagging her index finger at him. “But it’s shit like that which landed him in Slytherin and it’s why I’m SUPER NOT a Slytherin you slythery slither...trying to trick me into your house. Joke’s on you I’m too wily for your goblin magic.”

“Mmm sounds like something a Slytherin would say. Now where did…I leave…those glasses…” he said rooting around in the pockets of his dress coat.

“You forgot them?” she said with a comically large pout.

“I’m magic,” he slurred. “I don’t forget things.”

“You forgot the glasses!”

“But not the champagne,” he said triumphantly pulling a large bottle from the inside pocket of his coat.

Sarah placed her hands on his shoulders. “The hero we need,” she said taking the bottle from his hands. “But do not deserve.”

“Just call me Batman,” he winked.

“Gonna stick with Rocket Man,” she said taking a swig. “But I appreciate the offer.”

“Why must you insist on being like this,” he called helplessly after her.

“Unresolved attention issues from my childhood!” She called, skidding down the grassy hill, clinging to the bottle of champagne.

Beltane had once again taken place in the Great Forest, and though they’d gone last year, this was Sarah’s debut as the Official Girlfriend of the Goblin King. Given the tense relations between the Goblin Kingdom and the Winterlands, they didn’t attend Yule and they both felt Samhain would have been too soon and too high pressure. Though that didn’t seem to matter as Sarah was extremely nervous the entire evening. She didn’t want to shame the Goblin Kingdom by committing a terrible crime like daring to talk to the wait staff or something else equally ridiculous. Jareth had pointed out that when he introduced her as his consort (there wasn’t a word in High Fae for girlfriend as it turned out) that it meant she represented his kingdom. Actually, he’d said their but she was choosing to ignore that part. Which was totally cool and not at all a super high pressure situation.

But miracle of miracles, it had gone almost completely fine. Jareth had made all the expected introductions and then done an excellent job of keeping her either on the dance floor or moving around the room so no one could linger chatting with them. Sarah kinda liked these parties, but she liked them because she got to spend time with Jareth in a pretty dress with lots of delicious food and drink. She did not so much like the Fae insulting her in one breath and propositioning her in the next. Jareth, to his credit, always translated as many Fae refused to speak any human languages. There were a couple other humans at the party, but they’d been consorts so long that Sarah wondered if they even called themselves human anymore. She wondered how old they were, and if they even remembered what living in the human world was like. They made her the most anxious. The Lowland Queen’s wife looked about 18 but their brief conversation had revealed the girl to be at least over seventy. Sarah had inquired about her birth year but the girl could no longer remember. In fact, she didn’t even know what year it was Above and seemed generally uninterested. This sent a shiver of dread down Sarah’s spine, and Jareth made their polite excuses before ushering them back to the dance floor.

Some hours and several bottles of champagne later, they’d managed to make their exit. By this time they were both completely, and utterly drunk. So when Jareth had attempted to teleport them home, he’d missed the landing and instead they’d landed up several miles from his castle in the valley by the Labyrinth’s forest. “Forest for forest,” he’d said pleased with himself.

Sarah, who was still wearing her ballgown, was less pleased. But they’d managed to nab a couple bottles of champagne on their way out so overall a solid 7/10 on the success meter which was as good as they ever got anyways.

“Nooo crap,” Sarah cried as her ballet slippers slid out from under her and she landed at the bottom of the hill flat on her butt. “I fell. Jareth, I fell - bring me the champagne.”

“I’m coming hold your centaurs,” he muttered, effortlessly sliding down the hill and landing perfectly beside her. “One of us could manage getting down this hill at least.”

“One of us is wearing a big poofy dress and doesn’t have the ageless grace of an immortal race, but we’re both sitting on this grass in our formal clothes so,” she patted the spot next to her. “Down you go Goblin King.”

Jareth sighed heavily and placed the bottle of champagne onto the ground. He extended his hands towards her to help her up and Sarah took the opportunity to pull him down onto the grass beside her.

“It’s cold out,” he said sullenly, grabbing the bottle and taking a drink before handing it to her.

“Yeah, can you magic us a blanket?” She said, taking her own drink from the very nice, and very heady champagne.

“Let me…try,” he said narrowing his eyes in an attempt to focus. He waved his hand and the duvet from her bed appeared in the air, suspended above them, for about three sections before it fell unceremoniously onto their heads.

“Stars,” Jareth muttered from under the blanket. “I should have been clearer.”

“I do appreciate that after however many years, you’re still sucky at magic sometimes,” she said sticking her head out from under the blanket. “Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.”

“I think that is the blanket,” he said, his own head poking out. He scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her back, grabbing the champagne bottle in the process. “Or possibly the champagne.”

“Why my bed’s duvet though?” she asked, snuggling into the crook of his arm.

“I suppose it’s just the first thing I think of when I want something warm,” he said with a shrug. “You may have noticed I’m slightly inebriated and my calibration is off.”

“Yes on account of how we’re currently sitting on the ground about six miles from your castle because ‘forest for forest’,” she said in her best Jareth voice.

“You’re the one who fell and pulled me down with you,” he said poking her in the ribs.

“Yeah cause the ground wouldn’t stop spinning like the wily trickster it is. You and the ground have that in common. Also I love.” she said with a serious nod.

“The ground?”

“You,” she said, returning the rib poke, and stealing the champagne back. “I love you so much. I just want to tell everyone that hey this is my boyfriend the Goblin King and he’s the best-worst and I love him and also have you seen his butt? It’s a great butt. Perhaps the best butt. I love that butt and the other butt. The one attached to the good butt. The butt is your face. Your face is a butt.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he laughed. “But I heard butt and I love you in there several times so…I second that emotion. Whatever it was.”

Sarah put the bottle of champagne down, and grabbed Jareth’s face between her hands, and turned him to look at her.

“No no no, what I’m saying is, I love you buttface,” she nodded once, and then grabbed the champagne again, taking a long drink. “But I may love this champagne more. Check back tomorrow morning for the final score.”

“Well maybe I love the champagne more than you too,” he teased, grabbing the bottle from her to drink. “You don’t know.”

“I do know,” she said smugly. “Because you summoned my blanket which means you looooove me. You love me, haha sucker.”

“What’s a sucker,” Jareth asked.

“Someone who sucks,” she said, flopping backwards to lay on the grass.

“Oh I didn’t know,” he said, leaning back to lie beside her.

Quietly, they watched the constellations dance through the sky and polished off their ill-gotten bottle of champagne.

“Jareth,” she said, looking towards the stars. “Could you move them? If you wanted to?”

“I could,” he replied. “But probably not right now.”

“Wow.” She breathed out.

“What is it?” He said, picking up on her shift in tone.

“It’s just…you’re so big. You can move heaven and earth. You are older than some of those stars I bet.”

“No I’m not,” he said with a chuckle. “The stars are older than even the oldest Fae. They are eternal.”

“Nothing is eternal,” Sarah replied. “The stars die just like the rest of us.”

“Fairly morose of you Ms. Williams, would you like to share what’s on your mind?”

“I keep thinking about the other humans at that party. The other consorts I mean. They weren’t really people anymore. Still human, I think? I dunno. But they’re not people. They aren’t like me,” she trailed off weakly.

“No one is like you,” he reminded her.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said. “I just don’t want that to ever be me. I don’t want to forget about Above, I don’t want to not care about where I’m from and the people I left behind or be in my seventies and look like I do now…wait actually maybe I do want that part.”

“I have…a quote. I think you might know it,” he said knitting his brows in consternation. “For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom as great.”

“Good quote,” Sarah nodded.

“What it means,” he said, his hand reaching for hers. “Is that you aren’t like everyone else. Your will is as strong as mine, your kingdom is as great. Your free will. Sometimes people want to forget. I don’t know Altair, the er, Lowland Queen well, but I know that seventy years ago humans were even more regressive about two women being in a relationship than they are now. I don’t think it’s so odd that her wife would want to forget all that. Or maybe she hasn’t forgotten but is choosing not to remember. You didn’t ask.”

“I didn’t ask,” she said, still staring at the spinning stars. “I love you Jareth.”

“You’ve said that many times tonight, not that I mind,” he said, beginning to trace a pattern on her palm. “Though I do wonder why.”

“Because I love you,” she said turning onto her side to face him. “And you have this way of just…talking to me? Where we just talk and it’s great and....it makes me feel calm. I don’t know, I can’t talk to anyone the way I talk to you. It’s as if I’m just more myself when we’re together. But then I go to these fancy parties and I’m never going to fit in. Not with the other Fae and not with the other humans there. You’re really the only person I fit with. I guess I’m just bad at people no matter who or where they are.”

“I hate these parties,” he said seriously. “I suspect you don’t fit in for the same reasons I don’t - I simply do not try very hard. You see, I do not care about anyone else. There is a list, a list of people I consider important and worth talking to. Do you want to see the list?”

“Uh I guess?” She said, confused.

“Alright,” he said, then he waved his hand ridiculously in front of her face. “There, magic.”

“What was that?” Sarah said wrinkling her nose.

“I showed you the list,” he smirked.

“No you just waved your hand in front of my face?” she said, wondering if she missed something.

“That is because you are the list. My whole list is just you Sarah,” he smiled, obviously pleased with himself. “I love you, and until you came crashing into my life, quite literally actually, I had no one.”

“Yeah…” she said, moving closer so she could lie her head on his chest. “I know the feeling.”

“Now say the other thing you’re wondering,” he said after a moment.

“Okay…are the humans down here immortal?” she finally asked, it had been burning in her mind since she saw the other human consorts. A sort of funhouse mirror look into a possible future, Sarah wanted to know what exactly was real.

“No,” he said firmly. “Humans are mortal else they are no longer really humans.”

“Were the consorts we saw tonight really humans then?”

“Most, including the lowlander’s wife. Who is called Flora should you two cross paths again.” He gently reminded. “There is a pathway to immortality for those born mortal, but it is long, difficult, and not without quite a large price tag I’m afraid. We can talk about it another time. You won’t care for its cost.”

“Forest for forest?” She said with a small smile.

“Yes, something like that,” he said, not quite matching her smile.

He didn’t say anything for another moment, and Sarah took the opportunity to polish off the last of the bottle of champagne. She left him one last pull, which he gratefully accepted.

“Okay,” she said finally. “This has been great, but I’ve been waiting to ask you what the deal with that orange guy was all night.”

“Stars,” Jareth said, rolling his eyes. “I have no idea. That was not normal. He’s not normally orange. I debated asking but then I’d have to talk to that turnip.”

“Oh good, so it wasn’t just me then who was weirded out by Carrot Man.”

“As henceforth he shall be known,” Jareth nodded seriously.

“Oh and you know who that guy with the feather things you introduced me to reminded me of?” She asked.

“Your coworker Rob?” Jareth replied, with a sly smile.

“Yes!” Sarah cried. “God he was like the Fae equivalent. It was eerie.”

“Why do you think I introduced you two? I thought that would be suitably entertaining.”

“Right and then there’s the Bobbsey twins, what were their names? I’m still a bit drunk, how are you so sober?” She said side-eyeing him.

“I have an expedited metabolism,” Jareth winked.

“Of course you do,” she said, sourly. “The creepy twins though.”

“Ah yes, Diaphra and Diandus. They are…quite co-dependent.” He said.

“Do not tell me they’ve gone full Lannister. I don’t want to live in that world,” she said, completely grossed out.

“Well then it’s a good thing you don’t,” he smirked.

“Is there anyone normal at these parties?” She whined.

“Well you and I attend so…no,” he said with a laugh. “I think that bar is a mite too high love.”

“Ughhhh gross incest and literal carrot top, I’m not into it,” she said sticking out her tongue.

“As opposed to your human parties where, if you’ll recall, the last one we attended together ended in someone vomiting over the balcony and someone else sleeping in the bathtub.”

“Hey you got in the tub with me in the end,” she pointed out. “So that’s two someone’s sleeping in the bathtub. But fine, I’ve seen a guy try and leapfrog over a bonfire so really, I have no high ground here.”

“Obviously not since we’re sitting at the bottom of this hill,” he said tightening the blanket around him. “Can we resume the trek up to the castle now?”

“Can’t you just poof magic poof us there as you’re much more sobers then you were last time?” She whined.

“Could, but I think the walk will do your constitution some good. Besides it’s brisk and lovely in the Goblin Kingdom’s spring nights.”

He stood up and dusted himself off with all the grace of an otherworldly king. He extended his hand towards her and she smiled in spite of herself. She’d pulled him down by that method and he was still willing to risk ending back down on the ground with her. So she figured she owed him not to as a sign of trust. But she wanted to. She wanted to fall asleep underneath the stars with him, her head on his chest, dreaming of pancakes and scrambled eggs in the morning.

“Carry me?” She said, with a mock pout.

“Not a chance,” he laughed, and began walking towards the castle. He at least had the good grace to pull out the other champagne bottle.

“Is that cause you can’t? You’re pretty skinny and I’m pretty solidly built-“ she was cut off by the Goblin King immediately appearing back in front of her, and lifting her one handed, allowing her to easily perch on his arm.

“I could easily lift you, throw you, hold you down, and drag you around if I wanted Sarah,” he said evenly, all former mirth gone from his voice. “I think you forget who I am sometimes.”

“Nah,” said Sarah, feeling the familiar catch of breath in her throat. “I think I know very well who you are. Now carry me back to your castle so you can try out all those things. Ideally sans pants.”

“I…yes.” He said, deciding better of whatever he was going to add to the situation. “I think I will magic poof us there in the end.”

“There’s that can-do attitude,” she said giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. “Now take me home and take off your pants - in that order.”

She was right, his aim was much better this time, though she made him go back for her bedspread later.

**Author's Note:**

> Sarah loves 90s music like this, you'll never convince me otherwise. Also Jareth can "shake off" being drunk so to speak, though he doesn't usually bother. Goblin Ale is the exception to the rule. Much like Swanson family mash liquor, its only legal uses are to strip varnish off boats. https://youtu.be/olyNGMZuS74?t=23 (context to those of you unfamiliar with parks and rec)


End file.
